THE ART OF STAYING IN LOVEhat is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?Sadly, though, many of us have learned that it's just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. And while finding love and affection is one of our greatest personal needs, why is it that so few seem to stay in love?Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don't just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation—including the following suggestions—are needed to keep love alive and growing.Love is being there. One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, as Dr. David Augsburger says, love receives an invitation to die.Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but also giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with them. It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.For instance, recently I visited with a friend who spent the entire time talking about his interests and concerns. I tried to share some of my interests, too, but felt as if my words fell on deaf ears. There was no experiencing of mutual presence—the basis for all meaningful relationships including friendships.
SCARAfter an anger outburst, the scar remains with the victim. Especially if it is a woman, woman generally remember what you have said for a long time. Be careful when dealing with your anger.There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to Hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure. A loop called confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success. Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24 (KJV)
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